Ask Mr. Smart Alec (A Little Smart...A Lot Alec) is part of an on-going humorous look at some of the issues that we face in our daily lives. Mr. Smart Alec is the alter ego of a most-the-time local resident, who's name is available upon request. You can also contact Mr. Smart Alec yourself. So let him know what's buggin you and he'll give you an answer.This weeks question comes from "an interested reader" who asks: "Hey, why doesn't the Valley have more recycling?"

Answer:  Well duh, I mean cycling is pretty fun but riding over the same route over and over would be really boring ---Oh, pardonnez'moi, it's my Mother calling...

"Hello, what?  You're kidding! Really. Uh huh, uh huh, bins you say...OK, got it.  Sheesh, thanks Mom. Bye."

Uhhhmm. I ‘m back.Of course Mr. Smart Alec knows all about recycling, as in you know bottles and cans and paper and all that.  Mr. Smart Alec is an avid recycler of all things recyclable (if this included bicycle tires one would have the "recycle cycle" --Heh heh,  Mr .Smart Alec is such a wit--).  Anyhoo, this whole recycling deal is all about (let me just check my notes) oh yeah, the right bins.

If it is plastic put it in the plastic bin; if it is paper put it in the paper bin; if a can, in the can bin; if a bottle, in the bottle bin; if a Laden, in the Laden Bin (couldn't resist).  Excuse me for a sec, it is the Publisher guy calling...

"Hello, no I most definitely am not stalling.Yes I do really know, well everything, about the topic.  Uh, well no I did not know that particular nitpickety detail... OK, no need to yell, Bryan. Yes I will tell them.  Fine your highhorsedness.  Sheesh..."

A chastened Mr. Smart Alec is back. I have been instructed to tell you that, het hmm, "There is real information about the real problem and real solutions if you go to www.dosomething.org. "

Just to prove Mr. Smart Alec has a vicelike intellectual grip on this recycling deal (and because it is just too fun) here is the smarty recycling story of the week.  This comes from a dear friend and perhaps overly vocal critic of Mr. Smart Alec, who was born across the pond (that would be England for the geographically challenged).

Related Items:

• Ask Mr. Smart Alec - "Is there litter in the Valley?"

While she wishes to remain anonymous and Mr. Smart Alec always honors such requests, Mr. Smart Alec can say that she is a well known local artist, she speaks with a Brittish accent (Well Duh!) and her initials are A-l-i-s-o-n  B-e-n-j-a-m-i-n (did you know her son Christopher is a Ninja?).

The anonymous Brit (thankfully she is across the pond right now or Mr. Smart Alec would be suffering a rather perky fat lip, aye what old Chap) tells the following tale of ultimate recycling, coyly entitled "The Drippings......."

A.B.'s (as she prefers to be called to preserve her privacy) Grandparents were way way ahead of their time on the whole recycling gig.  They even recycled organic (LIU) matter.  Nanny and Poppy (aren't those British names quaint?) would collect the drippings from bacon, sausage, ham, roast beef etc. in a masonry crock and store it is a cool dry place (not the garbage).

Then, for a special treat (ugghh, you can just feel the shudder coming on, can't you?) they would get some fresh crusty (given what's coming, an excellent jeu de motf ¹/ choice of word) bread, get out their best butter knife and a set of lovely china (hmmm...British China...Mr. Smart Alec will save that for later), crisp linen napkins and, and, and... (Oh Mr. Smart Alec can hardly stand it--)...........

They would spread the drippings on the bread and EAT it (ehwww ehwwww and double ehwwwww.)

But, hey, props for the ultimo in recycling.  The double drip of recycling (re-re cycling, or bi-cycling ²/ if you wish), and for organic matter no less ³/ .

1. Speaking of a fine double turn of a phrase, check out the totally punatious flower display (see photo above) just the Subway side of Chris'.  It is an honest to goodlyness, Flower Bed.  The creator gets the Mr. Smart Alec pundit of punsters award for the week.
2. Oh yeah baby!  Take that Mr. Smith, publisher guy, your honor.
3. Remember, you can contact Mr. Smart Alec to pose a question, to question a poser, or to just tell him he is a dumbhead.  For those in the latter category, Mr. Smart Alec would like to apologize most sincerely for your lack of a funny bone.

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